How to Text that beautiful girl you’ve just meet?

The guide to texting your way to a first date

​It can be frustrating for many men that a majority of numbers go nowhere, and it’s just the nature of cold approach. The sooner you accept it, the easier life will be.

The most common question we get is show long you should wait before texting?

Ultimately there is no perfect answer for the perfect amount of time you should wait before the answer. Human behaviour is difficult to predict and external circumstances often force our behaviour in ways beyond our control especially with women who get overridden by their own emotions.

If your texting just isn’t getting you the results you dreamed of, let the experts put you on the right track.  the Approach team can provide minute-by-minute advice. We help you get the girl you’ve worked so hard to find.

The 9 steps that help build attraction during texting​


This is never easy, I still stare at my phone screen thinking of the perfect opening line. You want to make sure they remember you, and you want to rekindle that attraction you created that may be lost.

– So, if you have created any inside jokes, have nicknames, or anything out of the ordinary, put them in the first text. This will remind her who you are, and why she liked you, thereby getting you back into the state she was in when you were speaking to her. One thing I do, is when I exchange #’s I put mine in her phone, and make it creative. They will usually not check what you put in front of you, so she will have a laugh later on. Also Keep it simple.

What to send a a First text to girl?

Your Opening message must grab her attention! People can easily blow off texts, more so than phone calls, and as such you need to make her want to respond. I’ve found that any normal opener that you would use during day/night game works fine, Make sure it sounds congruent to your personality and make sure you give it the proper context in the first text, or you will come off as phony.

Do not just say, “Hey it’s me, so & so, what’s up?” You will just get the obvious, socially programmed response of “Not much, how bout you?” This is an interview question, and will bore the hell out of her, unless you really left a good impression on her.

Do not ask her how she has been or how she is feeling (unless you have created sufficient comfort and close enough to her to actually receive an honest response outside of the socially programmed “Good”)

Be interesting I cannot stress this enough. If she is bored she will ignore you, and she will not text you back.
– example of an opener I used that was well received are available- Please email me to avoid the internet making them too common

Keep all of your texts short and simple….yet get across your complex idea. The main idea is quality over quantity.

– No one wants to read a long ass text, so keep it concise. Get your point across and leave it at that; do not elaborate on any unnecessary ideas. Things you would normally say in a conversation cannot always be said via text,-Let them interpret what you are saying. This adds an aura of ambiguity (I love alliteration ) to yourself. You don’t give away all of your ideas, you don’t mix words (decisive) and leave somethings up to the imagination; you create mystery. You are a challenge.

Keeping it going

So you’ve just sent the initial text. Wipe that sweat off your face and prevent your heart from attacking itself. Here comes the difficult part. Anyone can send a cheeky text or throw a jab. Not everyone can go 12 rounds though. This is probably the hardest part about texting. How do you keep a conversation from going horribly wrong? If she messages you back after the first message….Chances are she’s either receptive or neutral, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have gotten the number. If she’s receptive you can push for a meetup almost immediately. Otherwise, time to put those conversational skills to use.


– Understand her text style. If she uses lots of acronyms (like OMG, lol, ttyl) use them infrequently. Do what she does, to an extent (use judgment here).
– You can also attempt to lead, but remember to keep the conversation interesting. She will blame you if the converation gets boring. Understand her to continue to build rapport.
– Make sure your spelling and punctuation is correct, and for god’s sake, use commas to separate ideas! A stream of consciousness is the most annoying thing ever, and she should be able to understand what you are saying without thinking really hard about what you meant to say.


<div”>Flirting is the end all be all of keeping her interested until you meet in person. For me teasing is the most enjoyable form of flirting. Mild insults or backhanded compliments are usually things girl react well to. 90% of men are too nice to girls. It’s simple logic. Do the opposite. Challenge them.

Do not abandon your personality for fear of not having your sarcasm come across the right way via texts.

<div”>Just make sure that your sarcasm is clear and easily interpreted. The last thing you want is an angry response or worse, no response at all!
– So use your personality but always think to yourself, “Is there any way that this could be misinterpreted?” If your answer is yes, alter it, read it out loud or add.


– Say you are going to text her back later, then don’t. If she asks why you didn’t text her back, tell her something came up or you were busy. Hint that you were doing something better and forgot. Remmeber to hint and use this when you have a solid genuine connection. (Be careful about how you come across, we give free advice over the phone. Call or send a email if you’re stuck in Australia and want to find a text message that works)
– If she ignores you, do not get angry! Your best option is to ignore it. If she later apologizes for it with something like,
“Sorry, I was busy eating dinner” just say something like,
“Oh, I didn’t notice. I was busy doing *blank*, so no harm done”. You could also just ignore it and change the subject. Do not say something like,
“If I didn’t know any better I’d think that you were ignoring me” because you come off as needy and you give her all the power.Remember, you are living in your own reality, and she is just a guest in it. Never let this turn around. Your best course of action is to wait a day or so and then text her with a new opener and start over. If you get ignored, either something really did come up for her, or you did something wrong (most times they will let you know if something came up).
– Be persistent and give her the benefit of the doubt.


Ok enough already. You’ve initiated, you had your little fun conversations, you shared stories and built some comfort.

Here’s a few pointers. You meet-up text should never look like this:
– Do you think it’s possible that we go for some coffee?
– If it’s alright with you do you want to get some food?
– Would you possibly want to go out?
– Is it ok If I ask you out on a date?
– Would you do me the honour?

By this point I should not have to explain why, so I won’t. On the other hand, here’s what a proper text should be made of:
– What you plan on doing
– The day
– The time
– The logistics
“You, me, bowling and drinks on Tuesday, 9:03 PM”. Form your texts so that they fit your personality,

Show some emotion in your messages!

Ok enough already. You’ve initiated, you had your little fun conversations, you shared stories and built some comfort.

Here’s a few pointers. You meet-up text should never look like this:
– Do you think it’s possible that we go for some coffee?
– If it’s alright with you do you want to get some food?
– Would you possibly want to go out?
– Is it ok If I ask you out on a date?
– Would you do me the honour?

By this point I should not have to explain why, so I won’t. On the other hand, here’s what a proper text should be made of:
– What you plan on doing
– The day
– The time
– The logistics
“You, me, bowling and drinks on Tuesday, 9:03 PM”. Form your texts so that they fit your personality,

Texting Hints & Tips in Australia​

Firstly lets handle a common problem that most men face ” I’m much better at talking to girls in real life than via texting or dating sites.”
This unfortunatly is a skill that a modern man must learn. like driving and talking, we are expected to know how to text. Women need a degree of comfort before they are happy to go out on a date with you. Therefore your texting should be strong enough to provide a bridge from initial meeting to the first date. If your texting is weak I recommend getting some practice, messaging some female friends, reading this article. Women in this fickle society unfortunatly move on very fast and your text game can mean that she does’nt see herself with you. Women are from Venus fellas!

Should you give your number
to a girl?

You should always go for the number, even if she does’nt initially want to give you hers

If she says Why don’t you just give me your number?”

You say:
“Ok how’s this. You give me your number, I’ll text you something (stupid/romantic/funny) and you can either reply to that ridiculously handsome guy you’ve met on the street and have beautiful babies together, or you can just delete the number and we won’t ever meet again”
That’s it. Whatever she says after that, take it at face value and leave.

How to handle Flakes/ Girls that lose interest

If she isn’t interested I’d much rather have her flake than waste both our time. However, not all flakes are ill mannered. Here’s a few reasons:

1. She has a busy life. Sometimes you come across a winner.
She has a good job going on, goes to the gym, has a few other hobbies she partakes in, etc. It’s easy to forget things when you are constantly doing something. I sometimes forget to text back too. Don’t get desperate and needy. Send her another text later.

2. Her responsiveness is completely different than it was in person.
Women are more attuned to their emotions than men are and so, they have a stronger impact on their overall mood. She might have been having a perfect day when you met, but now her roommate forgot that the knife goes in the left drawer and the fork goes in the right one. Which is an absolute disaster and she doesn’t wanna talk to anyone.
Try again later. You’d be surprised.

3. She’s nervous. If you spent any time around women you’ll know that every now and then they act like complete chumps when the right guy comes. What you need to do is relax…wait a few days. Then! She will receive another text, later. Maybe tone it down a bit, be less intimidating.

So don’t cry in a corner if she didn’t reply. Wait a day or so, try again. Personally I have a two strike rule.

Should I take twice as long as her to reply?

No. People practically live on their smartphones these days. She is checking her phone very 3 mins, What i suggest is variation. Short fast messages and then followed by breaks. build attraction. Importantly how can you have a fun conversation when each party takes 45 minutes to reply?

Don’t write a novel either. Texts are supposed to be concise, fun and light. Spark up some emotion, send her a funny picture. Whatever, just don’t ask her how her days was or what she’s up to. You don’t care about that. And she knows.

She never initiates

Women are less invested in a man before they’ve developed a relationship. For us it’s exactly the other way around. Let that sink in, accept it and move on. The only thing you gotta worry about is if she rarely ever replies, in which case you’re probably being boring or she lost interest. Or both.
Plus, it’s expected of you to be the leader. I know it soothes our egos when they do it, but many won’t. They’re just as human as you and me, and the idea of rejection terrifies them as well.

You’ve become a texting Buddy!!!

This girl will happily text you all day, and respond to most of your messages right away. Except for texts about meeting up – those are always conversation-stoppers. She likes the validation of having men interested in her and talking to her, but she isn’t actually interested in you enough to hang out in person.

These women are such a waste of time that they qualify for double duty. Respond to all of her texts with a 🙂 until she gets the message that you’re not looking for a text friend.

Grammar, spelling, emoji’s, haha’s

You ever seen an autocorrect joke? that shit actually exists. You have absolutely no excuse for poor grammar / improper spelling. Some women will stop replying based on your grammar. Take your time, use spell check and use a little grammar and you should be fine.The impact of a joke, innuendo or sarcastic comment will be greatly diminished by the use of emoji’s. They’re like a failsafe, there only to reduce the riskiness of what you’ve just said. It also reduces the value. It’s not a good tradeoff. So use them as a means to express yourself, not as a means to play it safe.

I’m not even gonna get into the subject of “haha’s” every other text.

Look through the messages for Indicators of Interest

– Like in a conversation, you can check for IOI’s in the same manner. The best way is to stop texting her and see if she texts you again to re-initiate. Normally people fall into the pattern of, she responds, you reply, she responds, you rely. One for one. You can break the pattern to see if she gives you two for your one. If she does, obvious IOI. If she doesn’t (wait around 20 minutes) then text her back to keep it going. Never text her more than she does you- in other words, never have two for her one (of course use judgment, and there are exceptions).

– Also, texting can take place over a long period of time, so if she responds to more than one of your texts quickly in a row, consider this an IOI. Consider everything an IOI (life is just easier that way.. )

Be congruent to your personality

Understand that women won’t make you happy. A relationship won’t make you happy and having 6 different fuck buddies won’t make you happy. You can’t drink you problems away and you sure as hell can’t fuck them away either.
Every man has 3 main aspects to his life. Career, social life, dating life. Work on all of them, not just one. Self-improve. We live in a society where people are socially conditioned to be ordinary, to not take chances and to play it safe. Fuck that. Quit your job if it’s shit and start doing what you love. Meet people and form great friendships. Talk to that attractive woman regardless of the fact that you’re wearing your gym equipment. I know it’s easier said than done, but a life of mediocrity is a big price to pay. No one on their death bed will ever say: “I wish I did less of what I loved.”
If you want to be an attractive man you have to live an attractive life. And fortunately, that’s entirely up to you. The more confident you become in who you are, the more rewarding your relationships with the people around you will be. Men and women. Happiness is something you build on your own and then chose who you want to share it with. It’s not something you leech off of whoever gives you the time of day.​

What if she said yes but flaked later on?

I’ll take a few minutes to try and figure out whether her reasons are genuine or not, but regardless you have little to lose if you give her one more chance. The last, mind you. It doesn’t matter in the end why she flaked, because you take the second outcome at face value. If she shows, great. If not, big deal. Next.

Understanding the diversity of women

No two women are the same. Very few rules apply universally. Here’s a few off the top of my head:

1. Neediness is repelling. Fastest most efficient way of killing attraction.
2. Being less invested in her than she is in you will greatly increase your success rate.
3. Being average is boring. It’s human nature, we steer ourselves towards what’s exciting.
You can show enormous investment in that hot blonde by the bar and even though she thinks you’re an idiot, you kinda remind her of her first boyfriend so she might take you home.
That redhead at the table? You’ve talked to her about the weather for 10 minutes straight but she just had a huge fallout with her boyfriend,
Sometimes you get lucky, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it right.


Why She Hasn’t text back?

We look at a survey of women on why they don’t text back and anaylse it from our prospective. We agree with much of the study but will give you insights on how to really maximise your response rate

How should I contact a girl, Call or Text?
After much discussion, we agree that the first interaction after a number exchange should be a Text mesage

Advantages of a text

– No time constraint, answer when you can or talk solidly
– She can’t always pickup when you call and every time she doesn’t answer, it costs you emotional momentum and a slight drop in value. Texts can be read and responded to at any time. Plant the seed early and avoid the pitfalls.

-You can spend a whole day texting every half hour or so builds a lot of comfort
You can take the time to calibrate your responses according to her level of investment and positive/negative responses that you receive from her texts.
The First Text can be used to immediately capitalize on the emotional momentum from the first meeting, by using carefully pre-planted Callback Humor in your interaction.


– Can’t be overheard
By making the first text a playful one, you appear as non-needy and allow her to relax and play along.
– Can do other things while texting
Texting requires little effort and represents a low social pressure situation through which she can talk to you.

With all of this in mind, for the majority of situations, it pays to send a Text message before you make your initial phone call. This can literally be the difference between success and failure with a woman you have just met.

Once you get her to invest into your series of ‘low investment’ texts, she’s now ‘ready’ for a phone call. It’s now less pressure and the phone call is less of a big deal at this point. Use this concept to your advantage and don’t screw it up again.

Advantages of a call

A woman who has a high level of investment in you will behave in a radically different way than a woman who has a low-level of investment.

View low investment as something to build upon. Capitalize on high investment by going for the meet up and the call. Not only does a call builds more attraction, it also

With a call you can build strong connection over the phone and have a conversation that would take hours over the phone. A phone call is a high investment so if she picks up or calls you back you know that you have a very solid number.


How long do I wait to send the first text?

Here’s a little secret. Forget about the 1 day 14 hours and 47 minute rule. There are no rules. I send the first text when I have time for a conversation and am not doing something more important. Just keep in mind that the longer you wait, the more that initial impact fades.

If you meet a girl on a Friday or Saturday night, I normally send a message on Sunday/Monday evening when most girls are having quiet nights and my response rate is very high. If you meet her on a friday night, then sending a text on a saturday night may not be smart.

If i meet a girl Monday to Thursday I generally message the next day. Guys you have a little voice in your head called instinct. Relax yourself and follow this instint (after reading this article).